I did fall in love with someone, but he never loves me back
as a lover. But he loves me as a friend. I fell sick. He cared for me, scold me
for being reckless, not taking good care of myself. He called me to wake me up
so that I could study. Looking at the screen captures of the conversation that
I had with him, those moments were real. We were friend, no lie between us and
I always laugh and smile when the four of us together.
One day, we were talking about the old time, then he said,
“Those moments were funny, you keep on laughing ^_^ “
The day she came along, everything changed. Every time I’d
like to ask you a favour, she will be in my way. She keep on texting with you.
I didn’t text you because I want you to study and I didn’t want you to waste
your money on the phone since you really like to call your mom.
Day by day, our distance becomes further. I forgot about the
moments we spent together and starts to yell at you for being not honest to me.
After the cold war, we become friends again but then not like before. I
couldn’t afford to trust you anymore because you’ve change.
If I hate those changes, literally I hate you. I don’t want
to hate you so we keep on acting like a fool. Talk when we really need to.
Fighting with you gives an impact to a relationship with
someone as well. Your friend. I never felt empty. Being left alone then I
realized that actually the one that cares for me and stay by my side most of
the time was your friend. He didn’t text me that much, still he likes to scold
me, forcing me to eat my medicine and he even opens it for me. When my face
becomes pale, he’ll ask why. When I cried alone, he’ll ask why. I miss him a lot. For two months we didn’t
talk to each other. We didn’t even look at each other. I brace myself and try
to walk in front of him. For some time, he finally opens his heart.
It’s a bit
awkward at first.
I realized that we wore the same design of shoe. I was a bit
annoyed.
The last day for outing, I was afraid to go with you to the market so
I followed my friend to the town and look for shawl. Managed to be in the
college before 7 p.m. you were waiting for someone at the gate. We end up
walking together.
You were skipping around just to make me envy of your new
shoes which is the same design as mine.
Taking selfies using DSLR. I let you
walk ahead of me so that I could see it.. This might be the last time I could
see you.
He is hurt by his friend. He is hurt by the friendship that
he tried so hard to build. After having
a fun night spent together, (it was not so fun actually since some of them
wants to be isolated)
That night, he sent a message….
“I’m sorry everyone. Sorry for not saying hi first. (he sent
this to everyone), from now on I’m not in the team. We are just friends not
more than that since it won’t be a team if there are people who wants to be
isolated, who only be hangout with some people. There’s no need to celebrate if
we end up in our own. Bye…”
He decided to walk away.
Still, I want to be by his side.
Matriculation soon comes to its end. I study but at the same time, I try to be
by his side. If he is alone, I’ll accompany him but if he is not alone, I’ll
smile and watch him from a far. Love is not possession. I’ll be happy if he is
happy.
Last day in KMNS. He borrowed my DSLR. Taking pictures and
videos.
At the end of the day, we walk together. Taking videos of what’s going
on really reminded me of the old time.
Time flies so fast nearly 11 months in
Matriculation program. I’ve met lots of people from different walks of live.
I’ve learned what friendship really feels like. What it feels like to fall in
love. What it feels like to be scolded by lecturers, what it feels like when someone
you trust back stabbed you, what it feels like to lose someone that means so
much to you.
Indeed, Allah is the greatest planner.
“If Allah has taken from you that which you could’ve never
imagined losing, He will give you that which you could’ve never imagined owning
“
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